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Week 5

Week 5 is upon us already as we hit the midpoint of our season. There are some teams that have already played 5 games and others that have only played 3. This is usually the week that the contenders and pretenders show their true colors and we begin to have a better idea of seeding for playoffs.

Last week seemed to go off without a hitch as our Draft Queens Morning Glory kicked things off at 9am and the fields ran on time with players showing respect for one another and the referees. I saw a few upsets as well as some blowouts with many new players to shout out this week. The weather was warmer than a usual Saturday in October with the sun struggling to come out all day and the wind taking its toll on the Quarterbacks and flag-throwing referees of our league.

This week I want to first start by sharing my thoughts on which teams I think are at the top of their game and give credit where credit is due.

Teams that are HOT!

D1: Losing Streak: The returning champs are undefeated at 5-0, taking down The Wanderers twice and scoring 50 PPG. They have weapons on both sides of the ball and a QB that has all the confidence in the world in Jordan. They rarely make mistakes and play at a fast pace that is hard to keep up with. Defending their championship this fall seems all but inevitable.

D2: Ball Hawks: Micah emailed me to provide some insight into his personal QB rankings and how he deserves to be in the Top 5...more on that later. Winners of 3 straight and firmly in second place, Ball Hawks have scored 44, 47 and 48 points in their wins and have looked great doing so. I don't see a weakness on this team if they can continue to get above average play from their QB.

D3: Lava Covered Ninjas: If there is a recipe for success it seems like adding as many D1 players as possible and playing in D3 is the way to go. Marty and Tim have their team solidly in first place and are averaging 40+ PPG. Adding Andy in the offseason was a huge move that should get them to the championship. This team has savvy veterans that bring 267 combined years of Game On! football experience and are shutting teams down on defense.

D4: Ampadu's Assets: Undefeated at 4-0 and scoring nearly 45 PPG, Sergio and Marco keep rolling right along from last season. With a stingy defense and speed all around, this team has been very difficult for other teams in the division to keep up with. I love hearing from the players on this team through email and am always rooting for them each week!

D5: Your Brother/Sister/Dad/Mom: The family moniker team is in second place and would probably be undefeated had they not lost to North Buffalo Blazers who were recently moved up TWO divisions. This team truly is a great collection of athletes and they have been playing together for a while now and I don't see any egos or issues with chemistry from them. Mike is making smart throws and has the Swiss Army Knife of talent in Nick Chimera when all else fails.

Please remember that you can always email me at I love hearing from our teams and players and promise to respond to any messages I receive. I spend a lot of time on this article each week and do my best to highlight as many teams and players as possible, but surely I miss things and that is where you can help. This week I want to spend a little time on our Crossover Games as D1 teams will begin to be facing off against D2 teams with each of the 5 teams in each division getting a crossover game. From what I can remember, this hasn't happened before, or in a very long time and although there are some obvious mismatches, I think there are several D2 teams that can pull off an upset.

D1: Sci-Fi Hamster NEIPA Division

Last week's scores:

Bad Friend Squad 41 over SIzzurp Slurpees 33

Clutch Genes 50 over Bad Friend Squad 35

Losing Streak 39 over Wanderers 20

This week's matchups:

Sizzurp Slurpees +18 @ Clutch Genes

Clutch Genes picked up their first win of the season last week, albeit with a ragtag team of subs. Slurpees lost another last week and are not even scoring 30 PPG while allowing 50 PPG on defense. Has the league finally figured out the Tom Earley play? I want to see Slurpees stay in D1 so badly, but it seems they are headed for a drop to D2 in the spring. Clutch Genes were missing Karon, Melissa and Hope last week and Sammy still helped lead them to victory. You must be desperate when you ask Manny to sub... Prediction: Clutch Genes win 47-21

Bad Friend Squad @ Sizzurp Slurpees +14

Didn't these teams just play last week? The schedule makers could have spaced the rematch out a little more, but here we are. Last week both teams seemed to have their full rosters as Justin and Matt have consistently dealt with attendance issues. It has been a long time since I have seen an abundance of subs on the sidelines for these teams. I don't think the game will be much different this week with Bad Friend Squad winning by 8 last week. Prediction: Bad Friend Squad wins 41-33 and gets only 2 unsportsmanlike flags thrown

Wanderers @ Clutch Genes +4 *Game of the Week 1*

A lot of people have been asking me What happened to The Wanderers? For starters, Al and Mike are both injured and Frank is doing his best with the new additions. Emily is out this season and they have experienced more roster turnover this past year than in their 10+ years of existence. I said all that to say, they will be fine. They always are. They will be playing in the championship just like they always have. Clutch Genes is one of the two teams that can compete with them and this should be a fun one. Prediction: Wanderers win 40-30

Just Get Open +24 @ Losing Streak *D1/D2 Crossover Game*

Ouch! Our first crossover game of the season features the 5-0 D1 champs in Losing Streak against a struggling 0-4 D2 Just Get Open team that hasn't been able to get on the same page. I have been told to keep things respectful so I will do my best with no ill will towards John and his team. This is not the matchup they need right now as they try to get back on track. Losing Streak is picking apart D1 teams with ease as Britt is playing lights out on defense and Chris and Kye are a threat for a one play touchdown every time they touch the ball. I hope that Stoner Dave brings a clone so they can cover the speed of Losing Streak. Prediction: Losing Streak wins 70-20

Our other D1/D2 Crossover Games for the remainder of the season:

D1 Wanderers vs. D2 Mavericks

D1 Sizzurp Slurpees vs. D2 Totes McGoats

D1 Bad Friend Squad vs. D2 Ball Hawks

D1 Clutch Genes vs. D2 Go Deep

I truly believe that Mavericks are the only team that can compete with The Wanderers as QB Jordan has played against Frank countless times and seems to understand what it takes to win against him. Slurpees and Totes have faced off numerous times in the past with Matt and Marty knowing one another's game plans. Bad Friend Squad should win against Ball Hawks, but I think that Justin will need Nick, Seth and Dave to do so. I don't know if you will find more speed on one field that Clutch Genes and Go Deep, as Paul and his crew look to get even with Clutch Genes from their clash in D2 in the spring.

D2: Trail by Wombat Galaxy IPA Division

Last week's scores:

Totes McGoats 34 over Go Deep 24

Ball Hawks 48 over Go Deep 32

Mavericks 37 over Just Get Open 28

This week's matchups:

Ball Hawks @ Totes McGoats +7 *Game of the Week 2*

Both teams were able to take advantage of an extremely thin roster of Go Deep last week as they were missing their QB and half the team. Micah really has his team rolling and his subtle cockiness and admiration of himself throwing dimes has the league on notice. Marty seemed to throw all his interceptions in the Morning Glory game so that he was ready for Totes. Ball Hawks can score and Totes can play good defense, if they want to. Prediction: Ball Hawks keep rolling and win 42-36

Mavericks @ Go Deep +4

Go Deep shouldn't be 2-3 and in 4th place, but they played with a skeleton crew last week and still almost won both games. Mavericks have a +43 point differential and Justin and Mike have been balling out on defense and their summer league practice has paid off immensely. I hope to see Jay back this week throwing for orange and somebody needs to figure out how to cover Paul on the deep ball. Prediction: Go Deep wins 36-31

Just Get Open @ Totes McGoats EVEN

This is the game that Just Get Open probably should start with as they square off against Losing Streak later in the day. Totes will be coming into their second game of a double header and could be winded if they have little to no subs. Will Jaime ever show up for John? Who is going to keep up with Trevor on defense from Totes? Can somebody get open for Brian besides Dave? Two veteran QB's face off for the 49th time in this one! Prediction: Just Get Open wins 35-34

Just Get Open +24 @ Losing Streak *D1/D2 Crossover Game*

See above

D3: Pills Mafia Division

Last week's scores:

Boats & Hoes 39 over 6th & Schlong 22

Lava Covered Ninjas 44 over Laces Out! 22

North Buffalo Blazers* 36 over The Hulks 12

Buffalo Football Team 42 over Kitna Kids 40

This week's matchups:

Buffalo Football Team @ Laces Out! +6

I see you Buffalo Football Team! You are sitting pretty in 3rd place at 2-2, getting things back on track and staying under the radar. You are also playing a very hungry and motivated Laces Out team that will have their captain and QB back this week, surely looking for a win and to move out of last place in the division. After a slow start, BFT has won their past two games and are scoring at a high clip. Laces Out needs to Prediction: Laces Out wins 37-26

Buffalo Football Team +10 @ Lava Covered Ninjas

As mentioned previously, Lava Covered Ninjas have a combined 200+ years of coed football experience and will be facing off in an infant in the coed football sports world in BFT. I am sure that Mike is happy to have Cordair on his team as he brings tons of football knowledge, experience and hype to his teams. I am interested to see if Lava will stick Tom or Andy on him in man coverage and force the QB to throw elsewhere. If they don't, it could spell trouble for the red defense. Prediction: Lava Covered Ninjas win 38-20

The Hulks +6 @ Boats & Hoes

So The Hulks got the luck of the draw by having to play the newly promoted North Buffalo Blazers last week and lost. It was great to see QB Dave back out there doing what he does best and dropping precision, deep passes for TD's while somehow managing to annoy both his team, his opponent and the refs in the process. Keep it up Dave! Boats & Hoes are in second place and continue to rush Nick on the opposing QB each week. I have a feeling he could break Strahan and Watt's sack record by week 7. Prediction: Boats & Hoes win 39-18

North Buffalo Blazers @ Kitna Kids *Game of the Week 3*

Thank you from everyone in D5 for moving North Buffalo Blazers up. Thank you to the league for making this happen. Shout out to referee Karl for pointing this out week 1. A big thank you to Dominic and crew for not giving pushback and playing in the division where you rightfully belong. I am looking forward to seeing what you are made of this week against Kitna Kids. Shaq could be running circles around you. Jackee won't drop a ball, unless it's the QB's fault, which it always is. Tristan will box you out in the end zone for a jump ball. Good luck! Prediction: Kitna Kids win 42-32

6th & Schlong +2 @ North Buffalo Blazers

Quincy of 6th & Schlong has to be one of the most underrated players in the division as he can always be seen practicing running routes, catching balls and doing whatever it takes to position his team to win. He is as humble as he is talented and I hope that he can continue to make big plays for Sean. The Blazers, as previously mentioned, have courageously moved up to D3 to play some talent more commensurate to their level. They have a tough double header against Kitna Kids and 6th & Schlong to start. Prediction: North Buffalo Blazers win 38-29

D4: Minkey Boodle Sour Division

Last week's scores:

I Like Big Punts and I Cannot Lie 31 over Show Me Them TD's 12

Ampadu's Assets 54 over Goatsack! 30

Ampadu's Assets 42 over Still Running 20

Boozin and Losing 37 over All Razzle No Dazzle 34

This week's matchups:

All Razzle No Dazzle @ Still Running +6

All Razzle played a thriller, down-to-the-wire game against Boozin and Losing last week that was as fun to watch as it was to play. Still Running is struggling without Alan at QB and are doing their best to put points on the board and win games. I would love to see Alan on the sideline coaching, cheering and giving pep talks when and if he is able. Prediction: All Razzle No Dazzle wins 30-17

All Razzle No Dazzle @ Show me them TD's +6

Tyler has been truly sensational for All Razzle and his speed is very tough for other teams in the division to keep up with. I have seen him catch 5 yard outs and take them 20 yards more after the catch. He is a deep threat on any play and is a true team player. Marketing Director Dylan and his team are having fun and have not been playing horrible, they just need to find the end zone on a more consistent basis. Prediction: All Razzle No Dazzle wins 36-18

Show me them TD's +10 @ North Buffalo Knights

After a week off, Chris and the Knights of North Buffalo look to continue their winning streak and move up in the standings. Did you know there is a mass following for North Buffalo Knights sports teams? Look it up, there is a lot to learn. My ask for North Buffalo is to please just hand that ball off once when you are in the I-formation, get called for blocking and lose a yard...just for fun! Prediction: North Buffalo Knights win 35-20

Boozin and Losing @ North Buffalo Knights +8 *Game of the Week 4*

I haven't seen much boozin' from Darren and crew nor have I seen much losing. They are tied with Ampadu's for first place at 4-0, have a strong point differential and boast one of the most talented females in the league in Rochelle. They played an awesome game against All Razzle last week and effectively managed the clock and their possessions to win on the last drive of the game. These teams are both seasoned and can score on nearly every drive. North Buffalo will be playing their second game of the day. Prediction: Boozin and Losing wins 34-29

I Like Big Punts and I Cannot Lie +8 @ Goatsack!

Congrats to Jeremey and his team for picking up their first win of the season last week! Truly a great group of people that have fun win or lose and are an asset to our league. Goatsack has been around longer than Greg Jr has been alive from what I hear and are looking to get back into the win column this week. Andy's old arm could be hurting as he is now leading Little Giants to victories in our Morning Glory division, but I think he will be ready to go. Prediction: Goatsack wins 30-16

D5: Bliss DIPA Golden Keg Division

Last week's scores:

Laces In! 31 over The Gas Gang 28

Sugar Daddies 32 over Laces In! 22

Your Brother 36 over Talent Juice 22

Shattered Dreams 38 over Trophy Wives FC

This week's matchups:

The Gas Gang @ Trophy Wives FC +12

Farhan didn't have quite enough gas as he pulled himself in the Morning Glory game and couldn't get things going for The Gas Gang later in the day. Dustin and Trophy Wives got shutout by Shattered Dreams last week, but were still smiling by the end of it. Turbo, set, hut will probably make a return this week with a speedy guy receiver in motion for Trophy Wives as they look to double their win total against the tall receiving core of The Gas Gang. Prediction: The Gas Gang wins 33-10

Your Brother +13 @ All About the U

Blasphemy! How didn't All About the U get moved up to with the North Buffalo Blazers? Micah is a top 5 QB, who has 1 loss to his name between his D2 and D5 teams and Isaac's team is scoring 55 PPG. How did this get overlooked? Do the owners read these? Seriously though, congratulations to Isaac for building an awesome team and truly clicking from the start. I am not crowing them champs after 3 games, but they certainly are headed that way. Your Brother, you need to throw the ball to Nick. Throw the ball to Nick. Throw the ball to Nick. Prediction: All About the U wins 46-35

Shattered Dreams +8 @ Sugar Daddies

I want to give a shout out to Chris and Shattered Dreams for picking up your first win of the season as well as staying humble throughout your win last week. You played a team that struggled on offense and had quite a few interceptions, but you never bragged, boasted or ran the score up. Sugar Daddies, I love your team name! Brian, you have your team at 3-1 and looking pretty good early in the season. I hope the momentum carries into this week. Prediction: Sugar Daddies win 26-20

Sugar Daddies @ Talent Juice +6

Sugar Daddies have averaged over 34 PPG in their wins and have won by double digits in two of those. The summer league has paid dividends as they continue to build on their chemistry and play calling. Talent Juice will absolutely get things together as they still look for their second win of the season. Alex and Rachel have been great for Tim and I am confident his leadership and experience will continue to bring out the best in his teammates. Prediction: Sugar Daddies win 27-17

Laces In! @ Talent Juice +8

After starting 0-3, Laces In has won their last two games and have some confidence going into this week. Captain JJ wouldn't have it any other way as he knows how to motivate and get the most from his players. Former teammates, JJ and Tim probably have some sort of side bet or bar challenge for the loser, but this game will be all fun right to the end. Prediction: Laces In continues their streak and wins 28-16

How am I doing so far? How many hours do you think this week's article has taken me? Did I miss something about your team? What about that crazy sideline, toe drag, behind the back, one-handed, blindfolded catch I didn't see? You can email me anytime at and tell me all about it. This truly works better and helps me if you let me know how your team and players are doing. I know how amazing I am, but I would love to hear from you as well. First person to email me this week and tell me about your upcoming game will receive some swag!

This week's "Extra Points" round out the write-up;

3-Point Conversion:

Which 3 teams need a win the most?

Sizzurp Slurpees, Laces Out, Tits & Picks

2-Point Conversion:

My Draft Queens Morning Glory Division predictions;

Mafia 32 over Crowns & Touchdowns 26

Little Giants 44 over Tits & Picks 23

1-Point Conversion:

Our QB Ranking will be out within the next week or so. Any thoughts, comments, insight or bragging can be sent to me at I will NOT be the one composing that part of the article but will forward the feedback I receive to the proper inbox.

Looks like 60's and no rain for Saturday. We will be running 4 fields, making it even harder for me to catch all the action, but I will do my best, as always. See you Saturday!

"The Manager"

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