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Week 07

Welcome back to Saturday football everyone! It seems like it has been forever since I have written to you all and I must admit that I did not keep my promise of publishing two articles during our layoff. For that, I am sorry. It was a long two weeks without the sport, friends and great memories that we all love on Saturdays and I am anxiously awaiting getting back out there with you all this weekend!

I would like to have some fun in this week's article and rank the current Game On! owners. I will give my own ranking and explanation for (in alphabetical order), Tom Earley, Marty Finucane, Brandon Siclari and Tim Sugrue as well as each of their OWN rankings, and, finally, a combination of the emails and feedback I received from some of you.

For those of you that don't know who the above listed are, I encourage you to make it a point to seek at least one of them out this weekend, introduce yourself, and get to know them a little. I have known, and been friends with each of them for nearly 10 years and the effort, love and dedication they put into their business is so greatly appreciated so that all of us can enjoy a safe and fun, social environment to get out and exercise while meeting new people. Please keep in mind that these rankings are intended to be fun and not a knock on any of these players, but I was surprised when each of the owners were so brutally honest with their own rankings. Read on for more!

I will start with my rankings;

1) Marty Finucane (QB for Goungo Fever D1); (QB for Totes D2); (QB for Lava Covered Ninjas D3)

I am basing my rankings more so on historical performance for Marty. I don't think he is the best of the 4 owners right NOW, but over time he has been slightly better than the others on this list, playing the most important position in all of sports. This year he is 1-5 in D1, 4-4 in D2 and 4-3 in D3 for a combined record of 9-12. Does that make him #1, probably not, but in the past he usually has had more wins than losses. Marty can usually be seen throwing interceptions in his bucket hat and sunglasses, mumbling under his breath that his receiver ran the wrong route or the ref missed a call (they didn't miss a call). Unfortunately, he is much better at delivering packages than he is at delivering the ball into his receiver's hands.

So what is my justification for ranking Marty first overall you ask? The fact that he simply is winning games in every division and his arm hasn't yet fallen off. He is a mastermind at drawing up routes and involving his females, he has lost a lot of talent over the past few sessions on his top division teams and he generally helps to keep his team in games.

2) Brandon Siclari (QB for Laces Out! D3)

I truly wanted to put Tom ahead of Brandon here and I even thought about putting Brandon ahead of Marty, but going 7-0 in D3 doesn't compare to winning a combined 5 games in a harder D1 and D2. Brandon has impressed me this year with how he has his team in 1st place, averaging 45 PPG and competing for the top defense in the division as well. I miss the days of Brandon playing wide receiver as he was a stud for Tim on Talent Juice, but it seems that those days are over for now.

The other reason I didn't put Brandon higher is because Laces Out has been in D3 or D4 for years now and has not moved up to D2, where I personally think they belong. He also plays on only 1 team and the other 3 owners play on at least two, some three. At this point, anything less than a championship would have to be a disappointment for them. They have the skill on both sides of the ball and Brandon has acted like a true captain and leader for his teammates. The scrambling ability that he brings as QB is an added bonus to a division in which there are some fast rushers and his throws have been accurate.

3) Tom Earley (WR/DB for Sizzurp Slurpees D1); (WR/DB for Lava Covered Ninjas)

There was a time when Tom was a receiver that some teams put their best defender on when playing man defense. Unfortunately, injuries and father time have been catching up to him over the years and he has not looked himself this spring. I do think and hope that he can get back to where he was as I know as an opponent of his, he is one of the best at catching contested passes and can track down just about any ball on defense.

I am confident in saying that out of the four, Tom has the highest football IQ and can help improve any team he is on. There was a time when Tom went 4 sessions in a row, all with different teams, that he was part of the D2 championship team. That is truly impressive and a testament to his dedication on the field and doing what it takes to help his teams win.

4) Tim Sugrue (WR for Goungo Fever D1); WR for Lava Covered Ninjas D3)

Alright, so somebody has to be last, but if I were to base my ranking for Tim as I did with Marty, based on past accomplishments, he would be higher. The fact is that all four of these players are really not too far apart in their skill level and achievements on the field. I truly hate ranking Tim as last here, but it seems as though his football life has taken a backseat as he has shown to be a great husband and father. His priorities are with his family and I have nothing but respect for that.

For those of you that know Tim, you know what a great QB he was for so many years on Talent Juice and I am hoping that we see his return soon. (I did see Talent Juice signed up for our Friday night football league that starts June 10th and I am hoping that he will be throwing!) Tim has proven to be a reliable target at WR and chooses not to wear gloves, which, makes it that more impressive to me. He probably isn't going to burn anybody deep, but think of him as a very smart, crisp route running tight end. He knows how to get open and will gladly help free up real estate for any of his teammates. Tim is a class act that loves to win, but still has a great time regardless of the outcome.

A combination of YOUR rankings from emails that I received;

1) Marty �¢?? strategic against defenses; a QB that actually plays defense and can hold his own; #1 QB in the league; involves all his players and works to their strengths; smart play designer; best hair

2) Tim �¢?? threw a great deep ball when he was playing QB; the most athletic of the bunch; can analyze defenses, great hands; smart and intelligent football knowledge; can help draw up plays; selfless player; strong route runner; former D1 champion

3) Tom �¢?? has a play named after him....that still can't be stopped; deep threat downfield; has a play named after him; complains too much to the referees; has a play named after him; slowed down a little bit the past year; has a play named after him; has won many championships; has a play named after him

4) Brandon �¢?? smart QB with a winning record; good decision making and play calling; miss seeing him at receiver; miss the podcast; should move up a division; has the talent to lead his team; takes ownership of bad throws and doesn't blame his teammates; former D1 champion

Brandon's personal rankings;

Brandon started by saying; "If we are talking about overall athlete then it's not even close..."

1) Brandon - I am the quickest and best WR on top of being able to play QB. I am 1-0 against Marty as a D1 QB. There is not 1 thing on the field that Tim or Tom can do better than me, other than being taller.

2) Tom - as a slot receiver, he is one of the best in the league. Tom is in 2nd place here over Tim due to the fact that he is a better receiver than Tim is.

3) Tim - Tim has great hands but is slow as a receiver. If we did this ranking 3 years ago, Tim would have put up a better fight.

4) Marty - Marty is a statue in the pocket and can't run around so he is last. Marty is slow.

Marty's personal rankings;

1) Marty - handsome, best QB of the bunch, best calves, cutest kid

2) Tom - silver fox, best WR of the bunch, hasn't aged in 10 years

3) Brandon - bad knees, physical traits are worst of bunch but best route runner, best dressed

4) Tim - QB of the worst franchise in Game On history, avid hater of all things Laces, best beard growing ability of the bunch, average hands, endless energy

Tim's personal rankings;

1) Brandon - The best record amongst all owners, and playing the most difficult position quarterback. Despite his knees being held together by hopes and dreams, Brandon has led Laces Out! to an undefeated season thus far. Laces Out! Have been the king's and queens of the regular season over the past 5 years. But much like the Game Of Thrones finale, their last season ended in utter disaster. Some might say it was unwatchable. Bad enough to taint all previous seasons, this rendering them also unwatchable and not worth viewing. Ever. Almost as bad as the ending to the long forgotten show How I Met Your Mother. But this is a new season, and Laces Out! Led by Brandon has a chance to rewrite history, and change how the entire franchise will be viewed! Will they finish on top with a championship, like the critically acclaimed television show "The Wire'' or will they spiral out of control and finish their season like the dumpster fire ending that was Game of Thrones. Only time will tell. Brandon's season ending ranking will depend on it.

2) Tom - There's only one of us who has received legend status, via having a league wide play named after us, and subsequently a defensive strategy to stop said play. Even if the play wasn't designed by Tom, himself, his route running is what resulted in the plays success, and teams copying it to a T. Unlike the other three owners Tom often plays both sides of the ball offense and defense. On defense he is a ball hawk and offense a threat at all levels of the field including the RedZone. He has bolstered the offense for Lava Covered Ninjas, and has been a key factor for Sizzurp Slurpees two victories on the season. His teams' lack of production however in D1 has left him just below the top seed.

3) Marty - Despite his amazing calf muscles (they're quite majestic) and stellar mullet mustache combo, Marty has not been able to counteract the effects father time has bestowed upon him. The eldest of the owners, he is considered the fossil of the group. He's known for handing out Werther's originals to teammates as a post game recovery treat and was the inspiration for the "we can't prevent you from becoming your parents" progressive commercials. That being said, he has two winning records under his belt this season at quarterback, with a good shot at securing a top seed in both the D3 and D2. He has also managed to squeak out a few wins in the top of the division, with his third squad Goungo Fever. Depending on how the season pans out, Marty could drop to the bottom of the rankings or finish at the top!? Will his arm fall off like a Mr. Potato head from overuse!?!? Will his mullet get even sexier as the season progresses? All questions that will be answered in the coming weeks.

4) Tim - Current Status. Myself. I am fortunate enough to have two beautiful sons, however both of them being under the age of two has pushed my exercising to the side at the moment, rendering me unable to perform to my full potential. I'll consider this the Giants portion of my Kurt Warneresk career. I still have a championship or two left in me at both wide receiver and QB.

Tom's personal rankings;

I will share my exact conversation that I had with Tom and his responses as he didn't really participate as much as I had hoped.

Manager: "Hey, for this week's write ups I will be ranking the 4 game on owners. Can you, by Wednesday, give me your own ranking and any thoughts as to why please. I think this will be fun and get people talking."

Tom: "I saw that and I like it. I will just let you do your ranking. Not going to say I'm better than anyone but I am the only one of the 4 that still plays WR consistently and plays defense on most plays."

The Manager: "Well then you're ranking yourself first! Lol"

Tom: "I didn't say that. Just saying a lot of them don't play defense and are just QB's now lol"

Tom: "I think a which one is the best QB would be a good one. I would normally say Marty but Brandon has been playing better lately"

The Manager: "Yeah I agree with that"

So there you have it, the overall rankings of the Game On! owners. I felt like I knew a lot about each of them, but learned quite a bit more, as I hope you all have too. They are all truly great friends on and off the football field and will each be reading this for the first time, just as you are. I know that they will laugh and disagree with their rankings all at the same time. I appreciate the feedback from each of them as well as some of our league players and captains to make this a success. Stay tuned for more rankings in the coming weeks! Now, onto the games;


May 14th scores:

Wanderers 59 over Get Open & Catch the Ball 12

Sizzurp Slurpees 39 over Tap Dat Pass 28

Can't Two Hand Touch This 50 over Goungo Fever 24

Losing Streak 50 over Our QB is Better than Allen 37

This week's matchups:

Wanderers @ Can't Two Hand Touch This +6

A rematch from a few weeks ago, Wanderers won a close game 61-57. Both teams really know how to score and don't necessarily rely on their defense to win games, but the difference is that Wanderers are so good at getting 8 and 2 every time down the field that it eventually forces the other teams to make mistakes trying to force the ball. I can see an upset in this one as it is the first of a double header for both teams. Prediction: Can't Two Hand Touch This wins 54-49

Can't Two Hand Touch This @ Tap Dat Pass +8

Watching Can't Two Hand Touch This makes me enjoy football even more on Saturdays. This team really knows how to have fun and enjoy the game. They are class acts on the field and boast a roster with tons of talent. Tap Dat Pass started the season strong, but have lost 3 of their last 4 games. Another game with playoff positioning on the line, Can't Two Hand Touch This has better talent and the chemistry to win this one. Prediction: Can't Two Hand Touch This wins 65-38

Our QB is Better Than Allen @ The Wanderers EVEN *Game of the Week #1*

If this isn't the Game of the Week then I don't know what is. A rematch from our fall championship pits the current D1 champs, Our QB is Better Than Allen against the ageless Wanderers. Our QB has shown weaknesses this season in their two losses to Losing Streak and Wanderers remain undefeated. This game could have huge seeding implications for a possible first round bye. I am going to take the experience and history of the Wanderers over the speed and playmaking of Our QB. Prediction: Wanderers win 47-46

Losing Streak @ Goungo Fever +24

A 5-1 team against a 1-5 team is why this spread is so high. Jordan and his suddenly pink again crew have been demolishing opponents on their way to an inevitable clash with Wanderers or Our QB in the finals in a few weeks as they have averaged nearly 66 PPG. Tim and Goungo Fever haven't won a game since April, but look pretty snazzy in their new t-shirts. Anything can happen in any game, but I don't see Micah and Brent keeping up with Chris and Joe in this one. Prediction: Losing Streak wins 70-24

Get Open & Catch the Ball +16 @ Our QB is Better than Allen

Justin and his team really need a win this week, but they run into the defending champs to try and get back on track. The video footage of other teams is mounting for Our QB as they have several cameramen and fans on the sidelines tracking every movement, huddle and play of the opposing teams. They take plays right out of the New England Patriot's books. The league seriously needs to look at what they are doing here filming the other teams! Prediction: They don't have footage on Get Open & Catch the Ball but Our QB is Better than Allen still wins 68-30


May 14th scores:

Clutch Genes 100 over Touch Football Mafia 25 (No, NOT a typo)

GUCCI 32 over Totes McGoats 16

Mavericks 62 over Touchdown There 50

This week's matchups:

Touch Football Mafia @ Totes McGoats

Totes has won by forfeit over Touch Football Mafia

Touchdown There @ Totes McGoats +6

Can a winless team really have the edge in the point spread? That's EXACTLY what is happening here as Touchdown There is the surprise of the year so far not winning a game. I would NOT want to play this team in the playoffs though because regardless of what seed they are, they have a chance to win every game they play in. Totes will be happy about their forfeit win because they somehow are "always short girls" even though they have 12 on the roster and probably would have been shorthanded for their earlier game or someone had a conflict and Marty, being an owner, would have to reschedule the game because he has said power to do so, so now they will have ZERO excuses to go out and win against Touchdown There. Prediction: Totes finds that one excuse that didn't even exist and Touchdown There wins 50-41

Go Deep @ Mavericks +4

Go Deep sits in 2nd place at 5-2 and Mavericks are in 6th at 4-2....explain that one. Mavericks have the better offense and defense but seem to be just scraping a team together each week while Go Deep has a plethora of players come each week, but has started to be hampered by injuries. The two week break should help both teams. I have said it before that I am proud and respectful that Go Deep signed up for D1 as they have been more than capable of competing in D2 and should move up in the fall. I think Mavericks are going to have a tough time keeping up with the speed of Go Deep, but they have the edge at QB in Jordan over Jay. I know Paul would disagree. This one should be close and fun! Prediction: Go Deep wins 42-37

Clutch Genes @ Just Get Open +7

So yeah, Clutch Genes DID put up 100 last time they played, BUT it was on a shorthanded Touch Football Mafia team that saw literally every one of their players throw passes. Just Get Open was the division's hottest team to start the season, going 3-0, but have lost 3 of their past 4 games since. Clutch Genes looks like the class of the division and has all but locked up the #1 seed. If Brian comes to play and doesn't throw deep on every pass, then Just Get Open could win. If he continues to throw bombs to Dave and John and not see the rest of the field, then they probably lose. Clutch Genes don't make too many mistakes and when the other team does, they make you pay usually with a female TD for 8. Prediction: Clutch Genes win 48-42 to remain undefeated


May 14th scores:

North Buffalo Knights 35 over Goatsack! 28

Laces Out! 39 over The Hulks 20

4th & Schlong 41 over Lava Covered Ninjas 30

It's For Fun 46 over Suite D 36

Still Running 39 over It's For Fun 38

This week's matchups:

Goatsack! +2 @ It's For Fun *Game of the Week #2*

On paper, It's For Fun is the better team as they have the better offense and defense. Goatsack has been around for nearly half a century now and just isn't having the season that they had hoped for. They should return a few players from injury this week with the long break and could get back on track before playoffs start. Andy is a seasoned vet at QB and once had his team playing in the top division so don't count these guys out. It's For Fun won 4 straight before losing by one to Still Running. Prediction: Goatsack wins 33-27

The Hulks +10 @ Lava Covered Ninjas

Can The Hulks really only have 1 win? How is this possible? These guys were hanging with the best in D2 not too long ago. They have lost by more than 2 scores in all but one of their games and are certainly more capable of 1 win through 6 weeks. Lava Covered Ninjas are 4-3 tied with two other teams for 2nd place but sit in 4th because of tiebreakers. They can score with the best but allow the opposition to score nearly as much as they do, which, is not a great recipe for success. Prediction: Lava Covered Ninjas win 34-20

Suite D +16 @ Laces Out!

It doesn't look like anybody is going to stop Laces Out right now and they already have the top seed locked up if I did my math and tie breakers right. I know that Clay is disappointed with where his team sits in the standings right now, but they have 2 games to start playing better before the playoffs start. Practice some plays, switch up your defense, get your females involved and just have fun. Brandon will surely be motivated after reading the owner rankings and that could spell trouble for Suite D. Prediction: Laces Out wins 38-17

4th & Schlong @ North Buffalo Knights +10

4th and Schlong has really come on lately as they are in 2nd place in the division and winning games convincingly. North Buffalo Knights boast some of the best female talent in the division and a savvy veteran at QB and have 3 games left on their schedule to move up in the standings. 4th & Schlong are averaging 35 PPG and North Buffalo Knights just under 25 PPG. Neither team has a great point differential so this may come down to which team can get more stops. I think that North Buffalo has a slight edge on the defensive side of the ball with Antoine and Alexis out there so I will give them the nod for the win. Prediction: North Buffalo Knights win 27-21

Laces Out! @ Still Running +7

Brandon vs. Alan. Which QB can scramble around longer? Which one has the better arm? Which one has more D1 championships? Which one of these teams has actually won a championship? Lots of questions here that they both know the answers to and you can find out for yourself too. Does winning in D1 translate to success in other divisions? Should Laces Out and Still Running rush a fast guy and drop two girls into coverage in the flats? Prediction: Laces Out wins 39-28

Golden Keg Division:

May 14th scores:

Ghosts of Meridian 52 over Balls Deep 38

Your Mom 32 over All Razzle No Dazzle 22

Boats & Hoes 39 over Shattered Dreams 8

Boozin and Losing 42 over Trophy Wives 6

Kitna Kids 56 over Ampadu's Assets 54

Show Me Your TD's 46 over Odoo 6

This week's matchups:

Show Me Your TD's @ Shattered Dreams +10

Christina and Tanner have their team rolling as of late, winning 3 of their last 4 games and now sit at a comfortable 4-2 in the standings. Chris and Keyshaun are still winless on Shattered Dreams, which is surprising to me, but look to squeak out a win or two before the playoffs start. There was a season in which Shattered Dreams won D4 and almost went undefeated so they need to channel that energy and experience to pull off the upset in this one. Prediction: Shattered Dreams win 30-19

Ampadu's Assets @ Boats & Hoes EVEN *Game of the Week #3*

Boats and Hoes sit alone in 1st place at 6-0, with one forfeit win. Ampadu's Assets are a close 2nd place at 4-2. Both teams can really light up the scoreboard, but Boats and Hoes is allowing a ridiculous 9.2 PPG on defense (not including their FF). There are major seeding implications in this game as well and if Ampadu's Assets can pick up the win, they put a lot of pressure on Boats & Hoes to win out to stay in 1st. Prediction: Boats & Hoes win 45-37

Show Me Your TD's +8 @ Ampadu's Assets

Each will already have played a game before this matchup and both teams needing a win to stay fighting for a first round bye. The QB's should be the highlight of this game as Tanner and Sergio will be looking to edge the other out on offense. I want to say thank you to Marco from Ampadu's who emailed me to say that he moved to Florida in the winter and STILL comes up to play football a few times a month when his schedule allows as he truly enjoys the league and bar sponsor afterwards. I love your commitment Marco and it is because of awesome people like you that make this league so great! Prediction: Show Me Your TD's win 31-22 because Marco's flight got delayed by rainy weather in Florida

Boats & Hoes @ Kitna Kids +6

If there is one team that I think can hang with Boats & Hoes, it is Kitna Kids. My preseason prediction to win the Golden Keg division, Kitna Kids have been on a tear lately, winning their last 4 games by a combined 94 point differential! They have the speed and talent to compete with the veteran Boats & Hoes and a QB who has gotten better each week. Shaq is an absolute stud and I would love to see him in a higher division in our summer and fall leagues. Prediction: Kitna Kids pull off the upset and win 40-30

Odoo +14 @ Kitna Kids

Odoo should have the weekend off from work as the team worked overtime this week to be able to show up for their game Saturday. As noted above, Kitna Kids are winners of their last 4 after starting 0-2. Odoo has loads of talent and the chemistry has clearly translated from the office to the field. Colin has been great for Odoo making plays on both sides of the ball, but he needs a little more help from the rest of the team. I would like to see Odoo win this one by using all 6 plays to move the field, not taking too many deep shots and communicating on defense. Prediction: Kitna Kids win 49-18

All Razzle No Dazzle +15 @ Boozin and Losing

Boozin and Losing hasn't done much losing this season, just as I predicted. These guys are fun to watch, move fast and have obvious chemistry from all of the time they spend at the bar together. All Razzle has not been doing much dazzle lately but have been losing close games. Chris is a great deep threat and can take the top off a defense so I imagine Boozin will likely go man against him. All Razzle should consider manning up Rochelle on the other side or she will burn them downfield. Prediction: Boozin and Losing wins 37-22

Balls Deep +7 @ Your Mom

Winners of 4 straight, Your Mom could be getting in Balls Deep in this one. What Your Mom doesn't know is that Andy and Savion are two players way too good for their division. It seems that Mike from Balls Deep has calmed down a bit this year, which is a welcome sight. He is a more than capable QB that is well liked and respected by his teammates and it is good to see him truly enjoying himself out there this session. Is there anyone out there in our Golden Keg division that runs a crossing route better than Joe Goungo? C'mon refs, you have to give em' the reach on the ball extension! Prediction: Your Mom wins 38-25

All Razzle No Dazzle @ Trophy Wives +13

I saw that Trophy Wives already signed up for our Friday league as they want to continue building on their chemistry and improve as a team, so kudos to them! This will be the second game of the day for All Razzle and the ageless wonder Dave will be at the fields 4 hours early to scout the competition. I hope they have better attendance going forward so they can build on their chemistry as well. Prediction: All Razzle No Dazzle wins 28-8

Ghosts of Meridian +6 @ Your Mom *Game of the Week #4*

Is Micah the truth at QB? Does he even know Your Mom? How many games will Isaac be refereeing this Saturday? Will Your Mom be tired from chasing around Savion and Andy? The Ghosts have been a nice surprise this season and are playing really good football and have some great talent on their team. This game could help decide the 2nd place seeding in the division for playoffs so both teams will have to be at the top of their game. Prediction: Your Mom wins 33-29

This week's "Extra Points" round out the write-up;

3-Point Conversion:
What do you want to hear more of in the "Extra Points" article? Has your team not been mentioned enough? Did I miss the incredible, one-handed, eyes closed, double coverage catch in the back of the end zone for a TD to win the game? What else is on your mind? As always, you can reach out to me at

I absolutely LOVE writing these each week, but it would be nice to know that you are enjoying them as well. Send me a quick note about your team this week for the chance to win some Game On! prizes!

2-Point Conversion:

The Friday night football league is slated to start NEXT week, June 10th. You can sign up as a captain, team player or as a free agent and we will help you find a team. Please don't delay in getting your team registered, details can be found through this link.

1-Point Conversion:
Is anyone interested in making $25/hour to help referee some games? The league is always looking for new refs or those of you that have refereed in the past to come help out for a few hours. If you are interested, you can email Brandon (the people's choice for worst athlete of the Game On staff)

The league provides all necessary tools and gear except for your whistle, which can be purchased for only a few bucks at stores or at the field. I am looking forward to hearing from some new faces that would like to help out.

Have fun this weekend and make sure to meet some new people. I'm always watching.

"The Manager"

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